This struck a chord with me, even though it's something I've read before...
The trouble is with me, for I am all too human...I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate...I want to do what is right, but I can't. I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway...I have discovered this principle of life - that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. (Romans 7:15, 18b, 21)
I correllated it to the struggles of marriage/healthy living/work/family....pretty much any situation.
"I want to do what is right"
I know I can have the sincerest of intentions at the start of something, but by the end of it, I end up acting exactly opposite of how I wanted.
I can clean up my eating patterns or food choices, but ultimately, that pizza always appears at the wrong stinking time. My motives were healthy, but my self-control waved bye-bye.
Or even this: for the past 6 months I've been telling myself every night before I go to sleep: "you're going to wake up at the ungodly hour of 4am to get a run in". Do I ever do it? Heck.No.
Don't read that waking up at 4am to exercise is the "right thing to do"...or that not eating pizza is the "right thing to do"...that's not the point.
It's just the constant battle that we have within ourselves spills out it seems, into every other facet of life.
So how do you gain control, and start doing what you want to do? How do you gain control and start doing what is "right"?
Lots of situations are black & white. Don't steal, don't murder, don't pinch your husband's nose in the middle of the night to make him stop snoring, etc.
But then there are those "grey" areas...should I tailgate this tard since they just had to pull out in front of me? Should I buy this gift card for myself while I'm here grocery shopping, since Matt doesn't examine the grocery bill, and look there's a Nordstrom one...
(Okay so maybe not everyone struggles with that last one...)
Or my most common issue: going into a situation, involving someone you don't particulary get along with, with the thought process that you will be kind to the person, no matter how horrible they may be to you.....but ultimately stooping to their level when push came to shove.
This could just be one of my life's many mysteries....why do I do, what I don't want to do? And why do I not do what I want?